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Someone please buy this lemonade stand!!!
{click picture for link}
Instead of posting my Royal family devotional like I usually do, I’m going to post a talk from my Aunt Darla’s funeral early January. Aunt Darla really wasn’t my aunt, she was my mom’s cousin’s husband, also related to my cousins on my dad’s side. But in my mind, she’s Aunt Darla.
Aunt Darla’s passing came suddenly. She had heart pain and within a few short weeks had passed away. I remember hearing of her condition and feeling shock. She was not very old. She had sons still in high school.
This talk was given by her husband, my mom’s cousin Kevin, who I have always loved for letting my cousin and I change out of our church clothes at a funeral when we were children. I love his sentiments, his testimony, and his wisdom. But mostly, I love that you can see his love for Darla through his hope for the future.
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I want everyone to know that I am not here by choice, but by assignment. For years Darla has said to me, you’re going to speak at my funeral. My reply was consistent, look at the genetic history, my parents and grandparents all died relatively young, and yours to a ripe old age. No, I will not be speaking at your funeral. Unfortunately, Darla was right again.
In behalf of my family, I express our gratitude for your kindness in honoring Darla by presence here this day. We are overwhelmed by who have been generous in providing prayers, cards, letters, calls, visits, meals, and flowers. Your mourning and comfort has strengthened us. I pray that the Spirit will be present to bring comfort and peace, “not as the world giveth”, but, only the peace our Savior can offer this day.
I recall reading in a book by a modern day apostle, Neal A. Maxwell, a thought regarding trials and adversities we face in this day. Most often when we face personal tragedy and trial, it is easy to ask, “Where is God?” “Why would God let this happen?” “Why me?” Elder Maxwell taught that we need to train our minds and hearts to rather ask, “What lessons am I to learn?”
The Savior invites us, “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart; and ye shall find rest unto your souls.”
Two weeks ago today, it was a typical morning in the day of Darla Miyasaki. She was busy of course, in service and well-doing. Her morning started early assisting at the high school’s Operation Merry Christmas, squeezing in preparing a pre-game breakfast for the varsity basketball team, shopping and delivering presents, and sending off Christmas cards. As she slowed down enough to bath, she complained of severe chest pains and pain in her right arm. I quickly dismissed as reaction to a stressful morning, and suggested she just lie down, but with persistent pain, we placed a call to my sister, Donna, who is a nurse. She suggested we get her in to get checked.
As we drove from Sugar, Darla commented about how she was not ready to die, I scolded her saying, you are not going to die, and told her why she was not having a heart attack. Within minutes of this conversation, my Darla was in cardiac arrest, lying on a table in the emergency room, as skilled medical personnel feverishly worked to bring back life to my sweetheart.
I can honestly say, I have never been so scared in my life. I began to think about being alone, of having to tell my children their mother was not longer with us, I questioned my strength to such a task. Fortunately, my Darla was brought back to life, and after some minor heart surgery appeared to be on a short road to recovery.
As we spent precious time together at the end of Tuesday, holding hands and reflecting on the events of the day and the excitement of progress of the morrow, Darla asked me, “Why am I still alive?”
I thought for a moment and answered, ” I suppose the Lord has many lessons for us to yet learn.”
Darla laid in silence, and analytically said, “I can’t think of any lessons I have to learn, can you think of any?”
My reply was, “You’re right Sweetheart, you don’t have any further lessons, but I do.”
I’d like to share with you some of the lessons I shared with her that night, as well as lessons I have since learned.
In God we trust.
Do we ever stop to contemplate this most common phrase which daily if we stop to observe, it is so forcefully present for our remembering? Our forefathers wisely determined the need to keep a constant reminder in our hands daily, to help us recall of whom we should really thank, and look to for our dependence. Each transaction we make, if we just take a brief moment to ponder the inscription, “In God we trust”, we will be taught and reminded of eternal truths. God is the great designer of each of our lives, and he does it personally, as he teaches, “Behold, it my work and my glory to bring to pass the immortality of and eternal life of man”. I note from this, each of us is an individual work of our Heavenly Father. He did not say “men”, but “man”. He knows each of us individually, and our course of life which will benefit us most, if we will but trust in Him in all of our doings.
One evening as we were traveling home from Arizona, in the dark wee hours of the morning, I began to lose control of our car due to the icy roads, as our fishtail radius widened, I sensed my inability to keep control, and shouted for everyone to hold on as we were going to crash. Darla immediately prayed aloud, “Heavenly Father, help our car!” And as quickly as her faith based words left her lips so was our car stabilized.
Her simple trust, is now what I grip with hope and faith. Truly, I trust my God has more need for Darla on the other side of the veil than I on this. So let us all trust our God as she did.
Husbands love your wives like the Savior loved the Church.
In the New Testament the Apostle Paul taught, “Husbands, love your wives even as Christ also loved the church…” This is a good standard, and one we probably don’t think of much as husbands.
How does one love their wives, even as Christ loved the Church? Paul continued with the answer, “and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by his word. That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle , or any such thing; but it should be holy and without blemish.” So should we strive to treat our wives so that we never do anything to tarnish their purity and loveliness, but do all to present to the Lord a glorious wife.
The night before Darla passed away, my daughter-in-law, Jen brought us Chinese food for supper. We joked about how ridiculous the messages have become in fortune cookies. As I opened mine, it read, “The evening promises romantic interests”. We laughed as I shared my very untimely message of fortune.
However, that evening, I asked that I have the opportunity to have the night alone with my sweetheart, and my children to all return to their spouses. That night, we read many scriptures, we prayed, we conversed, I gave her a blessing, and we held hands all night long. It was truly an evening of pure romance. Romance is a spiritual attainment. It is feeling of one, of unity, of a bonding. That night, I truly presented my wife to the Lord as a glorious woman, holy, having no spot of iniquity, having no wrinkle of unworthiness, and without any blemish of abuse. I truly began to understand what Paul was teaching.
It is always easy to run downhill and with the wind, but strength requires adversity.
As we went through the up and down journey of Darla’s hospital stay, we were so excited about her perceived recovery, and then so torn by her fate. It was so much easier to face life when the news was good and progress evident, than when we were told she would leave this mortality, and we witnessed her deterioration.
Darla loved the underdog. She loved those who had challenges. She loved the fight and adversity of coming from behind. Any time she saw one of her students go on to college, or even graduate from high school, she celebrated. The same was true throughout her life in all areas. Our home was frequently the place for people to stay. Often, she would say, I need to go visit or call someone, and would do it. How many times did you see her stand up and start a cheer from the fan side of the gym, when it was apparent our Digger team was facing loss, doing a solo of “We are SS” or “Digger Power”. I would marvel as I would see her single effort turn to a gym full of unified hope and cheer.
Brick walls are present in life to see who really wants to get passed them. They are not there to make us stop, but to encourage us to rise, climb, struggle and become stronger.
An ancient prophet when blessing his son pronounced, “God shall consecrate thine afflictions for thy gain. “ So should we learn to appreciate and cherish our afflictions.
Love is life’s energy source
One afternoon as I was keeping my station in the hospital by the bedside of my sweetheart, my grandson, Devn climbed on my knee, and I became his motorcycle, bouncing him about, twisting and turning him. Growing tired, I told him I was out of gas. He then said, “I will give you gas”, and gave me a huge hug.
We have been overwhelmed by your love. You have lifted us and strengthened us. I appreciate even more the love I have felt as I have witnessed my family rally around each other, noting who needed special attention. But, I have sincerely appreciated the personal love I have felt from my Savior. I recall the night of when we first knew of Darla eventual fate of death. I hurt. I was in pain. I recall in the still of the hospital room, crying, wondering how the Lord, could comprehend and even heal this terrible pain. Then I remembered the comforting words of a prophet who taught, “he shall go forth suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind…that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people, according to their infirmities” I realized the Savior knew of my pain, and I felt instantaneously, His healing powers.
Look to the star
It is recorded, that a new star appeared in the east to give direction to the wise men who sought the King of the Jews, that they might worship him.
It seems so appropriate for Darla to leave us at this time of the year, the time when we celebrate the birth of the Son of God, our Savior Jesus Christ. As you heard in her life sketch, Darla was dubbed the nickname of “Star”, while serving in the Young Women organization.
One of those mutual girls came and visited, and asked, “Kevin, what am I going to do?”
I responded, “Do to a young woman, like Darla did for you.”
Darla life shines as a star for all of us to not just admire, but like the wise men to follow. If we follow this star, we will find it leads to the true source of all light, just as the star in the east.
Traditionally, we have always placed an angel on the top of our Christmas tree. Next year, it will be replaced with a star.
To those students, friends, and associates, I pray these few lessons I have shared will help you in discovering your own personal lessons. To our extended family, I express my heart felt gratitude to you. To my children, and grandchildren, I bless you as your patriarch, with understanding and remembrance. Each day you look in the mirror, I hope you would ponder, “What would Mom say to me this day?” You will find instant guidance, then if you will follow it with exactness, you will be blessed with the an accompanying angel to comfort, guide, and protect you.
I bear my witness of the reality of a God, of whom I love and trust, and divinity of his Son, Jesus Christ, of whom I cherish and thank, in his holy name Jesus Christ, amen.
Brad and I constantly joke around that he’s going to be a rockstar and I’m going to follow him around on tour and be a rockstar’s wife. Now, this is definitely possible since I am awesome and Brad is talented (haha).
So, today I watched E! True Hollywood Story: Rock Wives and Rockstar Wives to see about my future life. I also watched Rock of Love Bus. Both of these shows are pretty trashy. And I’m probably trashy for liking to watch them.
Now, let’s analyze these two shows. Besides the often inappropriate comments, it’s interesting to see how these Rock Wives and their rock husbands treat their relationships. They talk about marriage as being work, and that people who just get married just because don’t work out. That marriage is a relationship that takes dedication, and honesty, and effort. Although many of the comments were ones that I don’t really agree with, it was interesting to see these rockstars with their wives and families and to hear them talk about how they want to be true to their wives and never want to be unfaithful.
I also loved seeing the wives and families tour with their husbands, and hearing the dads talk about their kids.
Dear Bret Michaels. Take some advice from these marriages. Do you really think this show is going to help you find your wife? Case closed. But thank you for providing me with inappropriate entertainment.
I took a home decor style test from Sproost (found via How About Orange)…. The results are in. I’m 33% Hollywood Couture, 33% Cottage Chic, and 34% Rustic Revival. I’m feeling good about that combination.
Find out what yours is. Take the quiz here.
I know Valentine’s Day was yesterday, but with all the ACTUAL party plans going down, I never got to post my last party idea. The thing I like the most about this one is that it can easily be adapted as a girls’ night in or a little date night. It’s all about the details and having FUN. And being a rockstar. Because maybe that is my secret dream…
Trust me on the menu. Britt and I researched for WEEKS when we were planning Brad and Avril’s pUnKRoCK b-dAY!!
Row 1 | super fun invitations from Oriental Trading; order in or make your own heart shaped pizza!! image from Picasa album of Andy (thank you kind stranger?); you gotta have some sodas – image from cvcoffee.
Row 2 | play a little RockBand; give each other some awesome temporary tattoos like these by Ed Hardy at Michaels; give out cute sparkle earrings as favors like these from imyourpresent.
So, apparently I’m REALLY good at bisecting angles and making right angles. I knew I was good at geometry.
See how good your eyeballing skills are with this eyeballing test.
thank you to How About Orange.
Another fun v-day love idea!! Who says that Valentine’s Day is only for lovers? One of my favorite things is to celebrate my friends and family – who I also love.
This is a party I would definitely love to have. A nice cowgirl theme with bbq pork and root beers!! And who hasn’t wanted to learn the little dance in Jessica Simpson’s music video for “These Boots were Made for Walkin’”? So, invite all your cowgirl friends on over for some eatin and dancin and good old-fashioned girl time.
First Row: Ariat boots (these are my cowboy boots that I’d definitely be wearing to this little party); these cute valentines from PressaRussa would make perfect invites; some barbecue chicken sandwiches via simply de.lite.ful (Costco has a great chicken barbecue sandwich pack with everything you need to make delicious sandwiches).
Second Row: Jessica Simpson in her video (search youtube and you can find it easily!); image from junk gypsies (I love their vintage cowgirl dress ups); a galvanized bucket of beers from Utah Bride & Groom (I would substitute for root beer though).
I thought all day yesterday about what to write for a devotional but came up with nothing.
then today I remembered an article I read for my ethics class, which happens to be one of my all-time favorite church articles.
In President Ezra Taft Benson’s article, “Beware of Pride” (which I know I’ve used before, hence the favoritism), he has a great quote:
“The proud depend upon the world to tell them whether they have value or not. Their self-esteem is determined by where they are judged to be on the ladders of worldly success. . . [Pride] says, “If you succeed, I am a failure.”
We had discussions in class about people’s views of self worth and how unstable people can be if their worth is based on these worldly principles. It’s so sad to think that someone could feel like a failure, regardless of their talents and worth, because someone else is succeeded.
So how do we fight pride: humility.
Tune in next week for thoughts on how to be humble from our very own President Benson.
Until then, don’t be prideful and love your neighbor. And don’t do drugs.
love.whitney
Foreshadowing a Valentine’s Day celebration post with the same title (a girls’ night, my favorite), I found these shoes that I’m LOVING but I don’t think I’m rockstar enough (in dress or in budget) to wear…
STEVEN by Steve Madden Bijoux (click pictures for links to purchase)
Betsey Johnson Deborah
And thanks to my newfound obsession with makeup, a discovery (that I remember seeing in Ulta over Christmas) I found while going through Sephora…
that’s right, the rocker eye.
I would LOVE to own any of the following from Corey Lynn Calter, but even with the sale AND the 30% off discount for Daily Candy readers, I still can’t afford them. ;(
This is kind of long, so here’s the deal. It’s a quote, then two examples, then a summary. So rather than feel
overwhelmed by all my rambling, don’t even feel bad if you only read to the bolded quote and the last paragraph.
In Relief Society on Sunday, we were talking about… something, and I’m not even sure what inspired this thought (perhaps the mention of a girl who saw Twilight 30 times in theatres – which most people found to be a waste
of time and money), but I’ve been thinking about it all week.
Remember Dallin H Oaks’s talk from October 2007 General Conference entitled Good, Better, Best ? That thought has been on my mind all week – the idea that we are often manuevered into replaced better or best things with good ones. He begins by saying,
“We should begin by recognizing the reality that just because something is good is not a sufficient reason for doing it… Some things are better than good, and these are the things that should command priority attention in our lives.”
I’ve been thinking about decisions I’ve made in the past five years-ish that have significantly changed my lif
e for the better, or perhaps the best. In high school, I had determined that I wanted to be a doctor, or a nurse practitioner (it’s like the in-between of a PA and a doctor), and bring good to the world by practicing the healer’s art. I had ideas of joining the Peace Corps, or doing service in Haiti, or in South America. These were all “good” goals. I wanted to give service to the world. But getting married and having a family didn’t fit into this life I had planned, and were crossed off of the to-do list. A Personal Progress goal on motherhood had me researching and studying the divin
ity of motherhood and womanhood. This experience changed my outlook forever. I realized the need for mothers who focus on their role in the lives of their children. And I realized that although I had good intentions, there were better ones that I could pursue.
Another experience was one I’ve discussed often in my devotionals, the death of a friend. This tragedy helped me to realize the importance of human relationships. I was so consumed in doing good in school that I had overlooked the people in my life. I know it’s a personal decision that isn’t true all across the board, but I feel strongly that building strong relationships with our family and close friends is much more important than getting straight A’s, or the
highest paying job, or working a ton (granted, I see the need to have a family provider, but like Elder Oaks said in his talk, “I have never known of a man who looked back on his working life and said, ‘I just didn’t spend enough time with my job.’”). This principle has blessed and simplified my life in ways I never would have known. When a choice to help a sibling comes up, regardless of the school work or other demands on me, I can choose to nurture our relationship. The other details of life work themselves out just fine.
I really enjoyed rereading this article (and it’s right before the talk that Kelli’s devotional quote came from…
coincidence?). There are so many principles that make life choices seem so much easier to decide. I hope that throughout our lives, we can weigh our decisions against the scale of if we are doing something that is good, better, or best.
Like, not doing drugs is good, but reading the scriptures instead of doing drugs is better, while perhaps shari
ng your testimony of the scriptures instead of doing drugs is the best…
love.whitney
- Grand Cayman
